Do you ever feel like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day? You wake up in the same bed every morning and relive the exact same day over and over. That may be funny when it’s in a movie, but not when it’s your real life. If this sounds too familiar, I believe that you can break the cycle and fully experience every day that you’re living. My job allows me the privilege of sitting down and strategizing with some incredible VIPs, and I often start with these questions:
1. Who are you?
2. Where are you?
3. Why?
4. What needs to change?
These questions may seem simple, but they’re the catalyst for transformation. Let’s do a deeper dive into what it means to find your answers.
1. Who are you?
No, not your name. What character are you playing as the star of your life? Did you choose this character consciously, or have you slowly evolved into this role? Other people and circumstances may influence the character we play more than we realize.
Maybe someone you trusted told you you’d be successful. Maybe they told you that you wouldn’t amount to anything—and maybe you believed them. Be intentional about who you are, and define your own character. If I handed you a script and let you play any role you wanted, would it be the role you have today?
2. Where are you?
A farmhouse in Kentucky? A flat in London? A hotel in Las Vegas? A dorm room at college? A nice house in the suburbs? A cottage in the woods? A boat house in Malibu Beach? If any of these sounded more intriguing than where you live now—if any of them gave you a sense of longing—why aren’t you there?
I ask this question not to understand where you are physically, but to get at how you feel about where you are physically. If you heart goes pitter-patter at the thought of a farmhouse in Kentucky, your life will be better if you move into one.
3. Why?
What choices have you made that have landed you in the city, house, job, and family that you’re in? You may have one of two perspectives when you think about your “why.”
The first perspective tells you’re here because you’re unlucky. Notice what thoughts loop in your head. Maybe you tell yourself that you’re in your situation because of negative things in your life—your weight, your divorce, the abuse in your childhood, your battle with mental illness, your failures, or your unemployment. Those things are difficult, and they are real. But they do not have the power to hold you back from your dream.
The second perspective tells you’re here because the harder you work, the luckier you get. You tell yourself that you’re surrounded by loved ones because you are a faithful and good friend. That you have your dream job because you follow through. That a book you wrote is on your bedside table because in a world of starters, you’re a finisher. That you’ve lost 20 pounds because you respected your body. That you feel loved because you give back. That you’re living in your dream city because you try new things.
Your “why” will clue you in to your own self-talk, and your self-talk will determine the quality of your life. Because we live and die by the scripts we write for our character, the most important dialogue in your life show is the one you have in your own mind every day.
4. What needs to change?
If your answer is nothing, you’re either dead or you’ve given up. Enlightened and successful people are willing to change themselves, their environment, their attitude, and their goals more than anyone else.
Not sure what needs to change? It’s whatever will take you closer to your most authentic life. Where you live, what you do for a living, what kind of relationships you’re in and what you do with your spare time should align with who you want to be. Of course, living the dream looks different for every person. The goal isn’t to make millions; it’s to feel good about who you are, where you’re going, and what you have to give the world.
If you ask yourself these four questions every day, your life—your character, your scenery and your supporting cast—will transform into what they were meant to be.
If you don’t know the answer to any of these questions, I’d love to help you see where you are today and where you can go tomorrow. If you do know the answers but don’t like them, let’s talk about how you can rewrite your life script so that you’re excited to wake up every morning. To learn more about VIP Strategy Days with me, click here.
Just remember: You can spend spend the next 10 years reliving Groundhog Day, or you can start fresh now, transform your life and live your dream.
As a speaker and author, Curtis Zimmerman has impacted over one million people with his life-changing messages and award-winning programs. Curtis is an expert at transforming organizations by inspiring individuals to live their lives at performance level.