Happy Valentine’s Day! As you prepare for the day of love, I wanted to share this front row interview with the Dating Doctor from a few years back where he shared thoughts on everything from dating locally to the dangers of infatuation.
David Coleman, known publicly as the Dating Doctor, was my first mentor when I wanted to become a speaker. He’s been named the National College Speaker of the Year 14 times, as well as Male Performer of the Year once and Entertainer of the Year. He’s a phenomenal speaker, teacher, and friend. Check out his website www.datingdoctor.com for more relationship tips!
How did you become the Dating Doctor?
When I was younger and in college, I could meet women effortlessly, but my friends could not. They realized that if we all went out together, because of my outgoing, charismatic nature, they would meet more women than if they just went out by themselves. After college, I took at job at a university, and for orientation I created a program called “Creative Dating” and it went really well. Then I went to a conference and did a program on dating, and about half the audience came up to me and said, “Hey, if you come to our campus, we’ll pay you.” That was 3,500 shows ago.
What’s your take on online dating?
I read something recently that said that two out of every three couples that are marrying now have met online. I met my fiance online. I was meeting women all over the country, but I wasn’t meeting anyone back home because of my travels. So, I put a profile up online and said, “Look even if we’re perfect for each other, if we don’t live within 30 minutes of each other, I just can’t.” And my fiance lives ten minutes away.
Advice for any new couples out there?
The best advice you can give anyone is don’t mistake infatuation for love. Infatuation is short-lived. It’s “I’ve got to have you, I want you, I miss you.” I’ve coined a term called frontload, overload, burnout. A couple moves too soon, too fast, too hot, for too long. The human heart, body, and soul, and life itself doesn’t allow you to keep up that pace.
How young is too young to find “the one”?
I don’t think that a woman should ever marry a guy until he’s reached at least 24, 25, 26 years of age. The reason I feel that way is because men have a tendency to measure their self-worth based on what we do and how well we do it. So until a guy graduates from school, gets through grad school, gets into his first job and starts to figure out what he’s good at, then we have a tendency to know who and what we are. Women have a tendency to measure their self-worth based on who they are as a person. Plus, women mature faster than men, and in our younger years, women mature much faster — two to four years faster. And it can take a guy a while to mature. If a woman marries a guy too young, she won’t know whether to date him or burp him.
Least favorite Valentine’s Day memory?
When I was younger — it happened to a friend of mine — there were two couples — my friend and his date and myself and my date, and we were going out to dinner. It was a little forced and stuffy because we were younger than we were trying to be. My buddy went to the bathroom, and when he came back — I don’t know what happened — but he came behind her chair and as he leaned over to kiss her and hug her from behind, he puked into her lap. He was mortally embarrassed. My date almost threw up because of it. There was no way to laugh it off.
What are your plans for Valentine’s Day?
Valentine’s Day is my Super Bowl. I’ll be doing a double header in South Carolina — I’ll be speaking at the Citadel and then at Clemson University. But remember what I do for a living — I’ve never waited for Valentine’s Day to show my love. I do it all throughout the year.